Penny Arcade https://www.penny-arcade.com/ News Fucker 5000 en-us Copyright (c) 1998-2026 Penny Arcade, Inc. Thu, 28 May 2026 07:03:33 +0000 Nocturnal Transmissions https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/nocturnal-transmissions So, I sleep sometimes.  Obviously, it's a failure.  I'm working on it.  I'm doing the work.   There's an odd point between being asleep and awake where I am happily paralyzed, and when that occurs I can start thinking any thought I want to and it will simply unfold from there.  I can push play on a blank cassette and it will orchestrate itself.   I am not the best judge of these ideas, I mostly like to see them born, but every now and then one makes an impression and I wrap it up for delivery to the outside world.  A few nights ago, this entire sentence was projected onto the screen and for some reason I thought it was worth remembering.  Most of the people I've talked with about it don't agree.  Here it is:

]]> Wed, 27 May 2026 20:54:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/nocturnal-transmissions Doom-Eater https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/doom-eater Like I was saying yesterday, I had the chance to write a whole adventure for Demo x Dungeons & Dragons: Battlemarked. It's called "A Golden Opportunity," and involves Acquisitions Incorporated's Omin Dran - um, that's me - utilizing the knowledge Jerry Holkins has about old school D&D lore to craft the most insane and yet also lore accurate Get Rich Quick Scheme the multiverse has ever seen. Let me go into it a bit. I mean, if you can endure it.

]]> Wed, 27 May 2026 19:05:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/doom-eater Quick Thoughts on Horizon 6 and 007! https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/quick-thoughts-on-horizon-6-and-007 I've been playing a lot of games recently but two of them have been taking up most of my time and I wanted to share some quick impressions. So here's what I have to say about Forza Horizon 6 and 007 First Light:

]]> Wed, 27 May 2026 16:53:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/27/quick-thoughts-on-horizon-6-and-007 Doom-Eater https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/27/doom-eater New Comic: Doom-Eater Wed, 27 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/27/doom-eater Demeo x Dungeons & Dragons: Battlemarked & Acquisitions & Incorporated! https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/26/demeo-x-battlemarked-dungeons-dragons-acquisitions-incorporated We've been pretty hardcore Demeo fans from the jump; making a D&D experience inside VR where you reach down and move models around on luscious dioramas is the sort of thing plucked from my fantasies. The only thing missing was the actual license, really, which they got - and then delivered the much more story forward Demeo x Dungeons & Dragons: Battlemarked. The first game got tons of neat, free chapters - and Battlemarked just dropped their first. Except I wrote it! And voiced Omni Dran in it! Because it's an Acquisitions Incorporated adventure!

Getting a chance to run a game for people asymmetrically was really exciting for me, and I wanted to tie it into their campaign's first chapter and move time forward a little bit - just make everything feel a little more real, like a campaign around the table would. Of course it is about a get rich quick scheme, but I'm always trying to put people onto the Elder Lore and I think I found a great way to do it. Please grab a copy, or load it back up, because I have a bunch of ideas for an incredibly stupid campaign set in their second chapter and I'm hoping might let me play around in there some more.

 

(CW)TB

]]> Tue, 26 May 2026 18:31:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/26/demeo-x-battlemarked-dungeons-dragons-acquisitions-incorporated Lightfall https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/25/lightfall At various times, I have known various people who have done various things at Bungie - going back to the Microsoft purchase. That is to say, I've had the opportunity to see their management stumble drunkenly from acquisition to more of a sugar daddy situation and then - rain-soaked, on the doorstep, in cinematic desperation - back into the arms of another suitor. I've seen the people they drag into these scenarios slowly ground into dust, all the while creating incredible worlds people live and believe in.

]]> Mon, 25 May 2026 20:10:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/25/lightfall Lightfall https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/25/lightfall New Comic: Lightfall Mon, 25 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/25/lightfall Chicanery https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/22/chicanery We'll get back to more reveries soon, when all these things stop happening! We gotta come in Monday with some stuff about them sunsetting Destiny 2. It's simply gotta be marked. Plus, there's some legitimately shady shit going on in this year's Horizon Festival it seems like - and now it's entered "the discourse stage." We were always gonna have to manage the advent of drivers with paracausal abilities, and maybe we should just count ourselves lucky that it didn't happen until the Year Of Our Lord 2026.

]]> Fri, 22 May 2026 18:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/22/chicanery Chicanery https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/22/chicanery New Comic: Chicanery Fri, 22 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/22/chicanery It's An Older Code, But it Checks Out https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/20/it-s-an-older-code-but-it-checks-out Forza Horizon 6 is doing numbers on Steam, and I'm glad - I think this series is the torchbearer for A Fun Racer That Is Just Technical Enough To Offer An Intriguing Skill Ceiling. That's a new subgenre I just made up. But apparently the game is fun, and works on computers - a powerful combo that's delivered real results in Q2. The only issue Morak has identified to me are the faces, which… well, I'll show you. They aren't faces in the classic sense, they're more like a fongoid "fruiting body":

]]> Wed, 20 May 2026 20:59:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/20/it-s-an-older-code-but-it-checks-out It's An Older Code, But it Checks Out https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/20/it-s-an-older-code-but-it-checks-out New Comic: It's An Older Code, But it Checks Out Wed, 20 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/20/it-s-an-older-code-but-it-checks-out Sentenced https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/18/sentenced I wanted this strip to erupt into a thousand strips - I wanted flowers to bloom the world over. My counterpart said no because for him, any effort to create beauty is regarded as a personal attack. That was just an opportunity to throw in a line from an Art of Noise song; in truth, beauty is the only thing he cares about. To an extent that it's been a problem!

]]> Mon, 18 May 2026 21:42:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/18/sentenced Sentenced https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/18/sentenced New Comic: Sentenced Mon, 18 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/18/sentenced Adjacency https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/15/adjacency It would never have occurred to me in a million years to unearth Cheeto of all things, it's completely nuts. My instinct was to say "cracked" but that means something different to the youth of today - something illicit, an etymological spur I've always feared was Fortnite-derived. But it was requested by the shivering mutants on Tumblr, and we are honor-bound to elevate these dreams, yea, unto the material world.

]]> Fri, 15 May 2026 17:36:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/15/adjacency Adjacency https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/15/adjacency New Comic: Adjacency Fri, 15 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/15/adjacency The Myriad https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/13/the-myriad We will return to our regularly scheduled spelunking of our nearly thirty-year archive soon, but Playground Games banning Forza Horizon 6 pirates for thousands of years was too funny to leave alone. We had to strike - if for no other reason than I got to make up like four new terms. I got to bear fruit. That's what I'm trying to do every time! I'm tryna stay bulbous.

]]> Wed, 13 May 2026 20:54:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/13/the-myriad The Myriad https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/13/the-myriad New Comic: The Myriad Wed, 13 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/13/the-myriad In Bloom https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/11/in-bloom For the benefit of Arcadians new and old, gay and… I guess… not a hundred percent gay, somewhat less gay at any rate, our revels in Penny Arcade's ancient past continue apace. Time has passed everywhere, even inside Mork's purty pitchers he duz all them scratchin's on. I was startled by his suggestion for this strip and I suspect others may be also.

]]> Mon, 11 May 2026 22:46:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/11/in-bloom In Bloom https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/11/in-bloom New Comic: In Bloom Mon, 11 May 2026 07:01:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2026/05/11/in-bloom Retroactive https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/08/retroactive The incredibly funny resurgence of our humble Arcade continues to surge among the larval dorks known as Pennyarcadelings, a cadre referred to in more coarse environs as The Gay Teens. We find the whole thing very sweet, and feel very tenderly toward them; it must be very strange to not know about it and then know about it all at once - how the self-publishing wave of the early internet lead the same people to found a global convention, a charity that has raised and wisely invested tens of millions of dollars into the youth, the foundation of what is called Actual Play, self-inflicted wounds and grievous exile, but then also also cameo in a Poker Game and its Remaster that somehow exhumed them from the muck. Time is quite strange and we have been exposed to a lot of it. We are almost custom-made to wear the mantle of Goofy Uncle who went to jail once and won't talk about why.

]]> Fri, 08 May 2026 16:43:00 +0000 https://www.penny-arcade.com/news/post/2026/05/08/retroactive